Lessons in Love

I had such a hard time choosing my mom's birthday present this year. I wanted to get her something that would be really special, something that would show her how much I appreciate the wonderful mother she has been, and the gifts that she has given me throughout the years. As I reflected on those gifts, it did not take long before I realized what I wanted to share with her. Not so much a material object (don't worry, Mom, that's in the mail!), but a deeper understanding of the lasting impact that her love has had on me. And, as I believe she accounts for about 80% of my blog hits (You don't have to keep checking back, Mom. You can just put your email address in the box on the right, and you'll be notified by email when I post), I thought this would be a great place to do that.

 

It is a popular notion that our operative images of God are shaped in large part by the roles our parents play in our lives. In reflecting on my own image of God, I have to say that my mother that has had the greatest impact in this area. My mother's capacity for expressing love is what I believe to be her greatest asset; love is simply her way of being. I would like to share three examples of the way my mother's actions have shaped my understanding of God's love for me.

 

First, my mom celebrates occasions to the fullest. She has a joy and a zest for celebration that inspire all kinds of wonderful festivities. As a result, my childhood memories are filled with ways my mom sacrificed her time and effort to make things special to us. And I have no doubt that she never saw what she did as a sacrifice; she loved every minute of it. On my first day of school she baked and frosted a cake in the shape of a butterfly. Each year for the Superbowl or the Academy Awards, my mom would bake an array of appetizers so that we could graze while sharing the event as a family. When it came time for our birthdays each year, we would plot with excitement about what we would ask her to cook for a dinner, and she always came through. For every season and occasion, my mom had decorations and food and themed family activities that we could do to mark it as special. Her selfless enthusiasm and hospitality are qualities I hope to emulate in my own family.

 

Growing up, my mom certainly made each occasion feel special, but she also made my brother, father, and I feel we were special. She found little ways to love each one of us, and show us that we mattered. From the little notes she left in my lunchbox (which she packed every day), to the baby powder she always sprinkled on freshly changed sheets, my mom took the time to love me down to the last detail.  When making dinner, she would make two kinds of spaghetti sauce because my dad liked it spicy and I did not. She would make an extra batch of cookies without nuts, so that everyone could be happy. The brilliance of her parenting is that somehow, we never felt entitled to this treatment, but instead grateful that she took the time to care for us. (I suspect there may have been some coaching on my dad's part to get us to appreciate all the extra work she did.) When deciding on family activities, she takes everyone's opinion into account, and takes the time to find something we will all love to do together. She does this because what makes her happiest is when her family is happy.

Nothing communicates this more than the joy she radiates at the simplest things we do together. My mom loves nothing more than her family, and it wouldn't matter what we were doing; she would be happy just to be together. My mom's favorite activity, the one she always chooses when it is her birthday, is to play games together. Scrabble, Cranium, Apples to Apples, poker...It doesn't matter what game, really.  It's being with her family that matters. And I don't think I'll ever know how much goodness and grace I have experienced on account of my mother's prayers for me, but I do know that constant prayer is another of the many ways she gives her life in love for me. Finally, her love of family is expressed in how fascinated she can become by anything we do. From everything I write to my brother's endless rock climbing escapades, she has a genuine interest and attention span unmatched by the non-mothers of the world.

 

Of her many good qualities, it is these that have most impacted my view of God's love for me. My image of God has been deeply influenced by my mother who has always brought such a joyous, detailed, and self-sacrificing love to my life. Until I have my own children, my sense of my mother's love for me will be one of my greatest insights into the character of God. If I can offer them a fraction of the love that my mother has shown me, I will be satisfied that I have lived a life of true meaning and love.

 

Happy Birthday, Supermom!